Love Letters
by Triskell
Summary: First year anniversary, but Qui's not home... Yoda plays *postillon d'amour* (SLASH)
1. I Love the Way You Love Me

Disclaimer: George owns Star Wars and all things pertaining to it, I own the story itself (little as there is to own ;D.)

SLASH. Don't like it, don't read.

** Indicates a letter

**I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME  
LOVE LETTERS part I**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
Obi-Wan slumped down in the middle of the quarters he shared with his Master. He was completely and utterly exhausted. It was hard to believe that helping to clean a library could do this to him - well, he had stretched his patience to breaking-point - one more thing to tell Qui-Gon when he came back. The council had sent him on a solo mission someplace...his Padawan had not been told where to.   
  
Obi-Wan sighed. It was not as if he objected to being on his own - even though his Master meant the world to him it was good to get away from each other sometimes. Just - not now - especially today he wished fervently that he did not have to spend the day - the evening he corrected himself - alone. It was their first anniversary after all. But it seemed Qui-Gon had forgotten the exact day they became lovers a year ago. Obi-Wan had not. And never would for that matter.   
  
His Master would not be home for days yet, and there had been no message from him. Another sigh escaped the young man. He had been asked not to touch the training bond so as not to disturb Qui-Gon in whatever he was doing, wherever he was doing it. The sun was already setting and Obi-Wan rose slowly, deciding to get a bite to eat. He would simply spend the evening meditating, then take a long, hot bath and think of his Master...  
  
The door chime sounded shrill to his ears after the quiet of the library he had worked in the whole day. He almost jumped, only his Jedi training keeping the polite smile on his face as he opened the door. "Master Yoda!" Too late he noticed the slight rise in his voice. He was on the verge of apologizing, when the little creature brushed past him into the living room and settled down on the sofa.  
  
"Invite me in, you would not." A shake of the green head accompanied every word. "Need to talk to you I do. Disturb you long, I will not."   
  
Obi-Wan nodded, fighting to keep his discomfort at bay - what in Sith's name had he done that was bad enough to account for one of the senior council members to pay him a visit?  
  
"I hope I have not done anything... I'm very sorry, Master Yoda - would you like something to drink? A snack?" The young man cursed himself silently. This embarrassment was worse than any punishment, how could he have been so impolite and thoughtless...   
  
"Sit down here, you will. Nervous, you must not be." Yoda waved his hand around the room, then patted the cushion beside him. Obi-Wan sat down carefully, as if not to disturb the little particles of dust visible on the fabric in the dim, reddish glow of the evening sun.  
  
"Your anniversary it is. Miss you, your master does."   
  
If it were possible for someone's eyes to fall out of their sockets then Obi-Wan's were close to that end in his surprise. "How do you know? I thought...I mean that...he didn't want to tell the council and..."   
  
Yoda chuckled. "Know of you, I did. So happy, Qui-Gon seemed, so fulfilled. Many causes, there could not be. Nearest conclusion you were."   
  
The young man broke into a brilliant smile. "You really think I make him happy?"   
  
Though self-confident, Obi-Wan had doubted that his relationship with his Master was beneficial to the latter in any way. True, he loved him, but that did not automatically mean that it was a real cause of happiness to him...  
  
"Think on this later, you can. Here I am only to give you this." The little Jedi Master pulled a slightly crumpled envelope out of the pocket of his faded green tunic and held it out to the young man beside him. Seeing the questioning look he chuckled again. "From Qui-Gon this is. Entrusted me with it, he did. Give it to you today, I should." When Obi-Wan took the letter, Yoda got up and padded towards the door. "Happy anniversary to you, I wish."   
  
He chuckled once more, then the door closed behind him. The Padawan stared at the paper in his hand. "So he hasn't forgotten after all..." he mumbled as a slow smile spread on his face.  
  
**To Obi-Wan.** His Master's handwriting definitely was beautiful, clear, bold and straight. Carefully, Obi-Wan opened the envelope and took out the sheets filled with words, some of them crossed out, as if written in great haste - or while trying hard to put down everything at once...  
  
  
**Dear love,  
  
I'm sorry this is only a letter and that I can't say all this to you in person. But this mission is very important for...various reasons and I had to accept it. So, as I won't be here for our anniversary...there are things I've been wanting to tell you for some time now and never got to do it...this is...I did my best to write it all down, without forgetting.  
  
Happy anniversary, love. I really am...you make me happy...I can't tell you in words what you mean to me, I must admit. I've been sitting here for at least half an hour searching for the right words. I love you is all I came up with - not exactly creative, I would say. What I think I should do at this particular point in our relationship, what I planned to do tonight, is to tell you exactly what your company, your love and - above all, you mean to me.   
  
It's hard to explain, love, but I will do my best. It's a thousand little things you do, or say or sometimes just the way you move, or how you turn your head towards me, catch my eye. A glance from you is so much more than a simple look, it's like a message, I can see your affection for me so clear then, as if you were touching my heart that moment.**  
  
  
Obi-Wan's smile deepened. He had never thought he would hold a love letter from his Master in his hands... and most of all not one addressed solely to him. It was just like Qui-Gon to consider every possibility, and he had not forgotten their anniversary.   
  
This alone was enough to make the young man perfectly happy. He was contented and warmed by the simple token of love he held at this moment - a letter for him, to tell him what his beloved felt for him. He grinned foolishly, looking at the bloody streaks the sun cast into the room, then turned on the light and went back to reading...  
  
  
**You'll probably laugh, but the first thing that came to my mind when I began writing is that you're precious. Just that. And then I thought I should give you a few reasons why you're so special. So I sifted through my memories, considered all we've done together, all we've been through - and - apart from the obvious - your being a true friend, a just courageous man and an excellent fighter I can count on in every situation - I remembered that time when we were on Irrynia 6.  
  
You were sixteen, and you came to me one evening and grinned foolishly, then sat down beside me and said you had to ask me a very important question. I looked at you and I knew that moment that you'd been up to mischief. You told me then that you had fallen in love with a girl and that you would like to act on it. And you wanted my advice. I can't remember what I said...only that it ended up with you calling her at the temple and telling her what you felt for her.   
  
I was in my room, when you burst in, grinning from ear to ear, then took my hand and announced you were happy enough to explode while you dragged me with you. Then we were standing in the arcade, with the rain pouring down outside and you said that the girl was in love with you too. It was so simple really, but you were glowing, your eyes sparkled and you pulled me outside, drenching both of us as you started to jump about wildly.  
  
I thought you must have gone mad, but you just grinned and hopped about in the garden, lifting your face to catch the raindrops, imitating some native dance you had seen, though I must say it was poorly done, love. Your dancing skills have improved greatly over the last years.   
  
You called for me to join you - and - I remember clearly how silly I thought it would look, but your eyes, the pure joy in your face, it all overwhelmed me and I felt so happy, seeing your happiness that I actually joined you...the locals were most amused - fortunately - for if they had told the council about this episode I guess we would have been given a hard time of it...but it was worth it nevertheless.**  
  
  
Yes, it had been worth it. He remembered. They had danced in the rain for almost an hour, just hopping about, it had been such a silly thing to do and he had known all the while that he wanted nothing else just then. Obi-Wan turned the page over as he continued.  
  
  
**And that is one of the reasons I fell in love with you, Obi-Wan. Your sometimes reckless pursuit of things you felt you had to do, whether they were appropriate at that moment or not. And how you convinced me that it was perfectly fine to let go once in a while, to behave in a completely undignified way.   
  
Irrynia 6 was only an example... if I think of Mon Calamari - goodness, that race after that colourful fish - I forgot the name - we spent hours on that - for no particular reason, if I'm not very much mistaken. All you said was that it would be great to take a closer look at it and that we'd just have to get at it. Our guide had a good laugh at us, if you remember.**  
  
  
As if he'd ever forget that - his Master's hair had come undone and he had had it plastered all over his face by the water, as there was no time to push it back - the current was strong and that fish extremely fast. When they had emerged from the water, Qui-Gon had done his best to keep his face level, but the smirk and sparkle in his eyes betrayed him. He had enjoyed that episode just as much as his student had...  
  
  
**I guess you'll be smiling now, love. I'm grinning like a fool myself... I also remember how often we disagreed about your baths. You take ages to soak yourself and you won't forget about it - when we were on Elavan, mediating between the tribes in the desert - you kept reminding me that I had promised you a bathtub in the capital.   
  
You wouldn't let me forget - and then you sat in it for...how long? I only remember finishing a particularly long report and then reading a few chapters of a local novel before you eventually emerged from your bath, you were virtually steaming...**  
  
  
Oh, yes, he remembered that particular evening very well. Very well indeed. He had not forgotten one moment. He still treasured what had happened then - always would - it had been that evening exactly a year ago when they had first confessed their feelings for each other...  
  
  
**You looked so lovely...and I wanted to kiss you so badly...I thought of so many things to say while I just looked at you and I couldn't pronounce one single word. So I let go as you had told me to do. It was a risk I had been afraid to take for a long time and though I was in a tremor all the time I won't ever regret it...**  
  
  
Qui-Gon had looked at him so softly, warmly - and he had caught his gaze, seen the depth in his blue eyes and then a wave of unconditional love had splashed over him, dazing him with its sheer force. It had taken him a while to understand that these feelings came from his Master and were directed at him. There had not been a question or a hope in them, just pure, true and sincere love, affection and respect for him as a person.   
  
  
**You reacted very slowly, it was a lot I flung at you then - and I remember how hard it was to keep my longing, my hopes away from you - the last thing I ever wanted was to influence you, love.   
  
But you needed no convincing - the second you stepped towards me I knew you loved me, I saw it in your eyes, they were smiling, glowing with acceptance... you didn't stop until you stood before me and then my heart caught, and I felt like a youth again - someone who's never been kissed...I cherish that kiss, it lies in my mind and I haven't forgotten one movement of your lips or your tongue or how you tugged at my braid, opened it and stroked through my hair...**  
  
  
Obi-Wan grinned. Typical. Not that he had forgotten himself. That kiss had swept him off his feet - not that he would have told Qui-Gon - but he would now; after all, he had a right to know what an impression he had made as a lover from the very beginning...  
  
  
**When I first said your name after that...it was so strange, I thought it sounded different, love...maybe I'm being foolish, but I swear your name was different when I spoke to you as a lover for the very first time...  
  
See - I haven't forgotten last year, love and I'll keep those memories close to my heart. I've packed one of your cloaks, you probably haven't noticed...did I mention your closet's in a state of complete chaos?   
  
I wanted to have something of yours close to me at night...now you're laughing, aren't you? But your scent always comforts me, and when I think of your sniffing and crying all the many times we've watched some romantic holo vids together...that's all I need to fall asleep...yes, I'm teasing you, love...and I'll never stop...**  
  
  
Oh, well. It would have been too much to ask that his Master would forget his less than distinguished reaction to a few of the more...touching holo vids they had watched. In one the heroine lost her mother, in the other, someone's darling pet died after it had given its owner one last look with deep brown eyes... Great, now here he was sniffing again.   
  
He just could not help it - it was so...moving...and Qui-Gon knew how much that affected him. He loved to tease him about it, then pull him close, hugging him, patting his back and kissing the top of his head. That was why Obi-Wan cherished these moments more than most others. He felt so safe then, so comforted...  
  
  
**Where was I? Yes, all I meant to do in this letter was to tell you how I feel, how much you mean to me. And here I am telling you stories you already know. All I should have written down was the following: you're my life, love. And I'm completely and utterly in earnest.   
  
You make me feel at ease, no matter how tense the situation, I can rely on you, you back me up and criticise me at the next moment...and you comfort me when I need you to. All this and a lot more makes up the reasons for my loving you. And even though I won't be with you when you read this I hope you'll know that I'm thinking of you and that you're in my heart always.  
  
Qui-Gon**  
  
  
Obi-Wan slowly put the letter aside. A tear had slipped past his lashes and made its way down his cheek. He had never imagined. These words came right from his lover's heart, from someone who truly and utterly cherished him and needed him.   
  
He even admitted to once in a while liking to be comforted. And all the things he had thought were the most natural in the world - being there, accepting, advising even...all those were important to Qui-Gon - he noticed them all, did not just take them for granted.  
  
The young man smiled, brushing the tear from his face. He carefully put the letter back into the envelope, then got up, padding lightly into the bathroom. His lover was right - a hot bath was the thing he craved most when he wanted to relax...that - and Qui-Gon's body close to him...and though the latter would have to wait until his Master came home, he would most certainly indulge in the first...  
  
  
The End  
   
  
I Love the Way You Love Me (Boyzone)  
  
I like the feel of your name on my lips  
And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss,  
The way that your fingers run through my hair  
And how your scent lingers even when you're not there.  
I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh  
And how you enjoy your two-hour bath  
And how you convinced me to dance in the rain,  
With everyone watching like we were insane.  
  
But I love the way you love me,   
Strong and wild, slow and easy,  
Heart and soul, so completely,  
I love the way you love me.  
  
I like the sound of all Rs and Bs  
You're all I ask for when I'm slightly off hill and  
I like the innocent way that you cry over sappy old   
Movies you've seen thousands of times.  
  
But I love the way you love me,...  
  
And I could list a million things I'd love to like about you  
But they all come down to one reason - I could never live without you.  
But I love the way you love me, ...  
  
The song "I Love the Way You Love Me" can be found on the album "By Request" from Boyzone (copyright 1999 Universal Music Ireland), the transcript was made by me. No copyright infringement is intended.


	2. Sunsets

Disclaimer: George owns Star Wars and all things pertaining to it, I own the story itself (little as there is to own ;D.)

SLASH. Don't like it, don't read.

** Indicates a letter

**SUNSETS  
LOVE LETTERS part II**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
Obi-Wan groaned. Another endlessly long day at the library…well, at least it was something to do. His Master would not be back in the course of the next week or two - that was what Master Windu had told him yesterday when he had asked.   
  
After he had read the wonderful letter Qui-Gon had addressed to him for their first year anniversary he had been so keen on holding his lover again, to tell him how he felt…and - as for the duration of that mission - any contact over the training bond or otherwise was not permitted all he could do was wait…and keep his mind on the tasks he had been given in the hope they would help him to pass the time…  
  
When Obi-Wan sat down to a quick lunch on one of the library's huge windowsills, he noticed Yoda standing in the doorway, scanning the room for someone. He sighed.   
  
"Can I help you, Master Yoda?"   
  
The little Jedi Master turned his eyes on him, chuckled and came towards him, seemingly pulling himself along on his stick.   
  
"Seek you, I did. Letter, you got. Give it to you, I wanted."   
  
As Obi-Wan accepted another crumpled envelope from the pocket of the Master's tunic, Yoda turned around and, still chuckling, left the library, only to stop on the threshold for a moment and add: "A poet I never thought he was. Now in love, he is and write he does…" and he departed in a volley of chuckles that echoed in the quiet of the rooms.  
  
Obi-Wan could not help grinning himself. He had hardly ever seen Yoda so…merry. His eyes had sparkled with mirth and his chuckles were a rare sign of his humour - he usually kept his countenance and composure as strictly serene and unaffected that many had called him cold…or even callous.   
  
But the young man knew better - not only from Qui-Gon's stories, but from his own experience as well. When his Master was on a longer mission and he was left on his own, the little creature often came to check on him and spend some time with him…  
  
**Padawan Kenobi. Suite 4456. Jedi Temple. Coruscant, 78976** So he had got another letter from his lover. That could only mean he would be gone for some time yet. Obi-Wan sighed. He missed Qui-Gon urgently - well, a letter was better than nothing.  
  
  
**Dear love,  
  
Last night I dreamt of you and that picture can't be replaced by anything else. It brought many things to my mind and mostly what I thought of as I watched you sleeping the night before I left; it was then, my love, that I realized that all I really wanted was to stay with you…I didn't care for anything else, not for the mission, however important it might be, not for the approval of the council - you were all that counted.   
  
My mind was filled with images of you, of us - making love, holding each other, your snuggling close when it's cold and drawing the blanket over the both of us.  
  
And I wanted to get away, to be alone with you, to have the time I crave so much - so I can spend it with you and have you all to myself.   
  
I pictured you and me on a beach that stretched to the horizon; the sea the colour of your eyes, deep and dark as they are when we make love and the sun burned down on us and warmed us as we slept. We were far away from Coruscant, the temple, and the council…no mission before us, just you and me all alone, living with and for each other.   
  
We sat beside a fire at night and told each other trivial stories about our life, little episodes we hadn't shared before. It was something we normally wouldn't have the time to do, to just exchange pleasantries, talk about nothing in particular and still feel as if we were saying things of the utmost importance.   
  
We slept in each others arms on the warm, soft sand and when we woke the sun was rising in a massive sea of reddish gold and orange clouds danced on the winds. We went swimming and dried each other off as we rolled entwined across the ground…**  
  
  
Master Yoda certainly was right. Though how he could have known without reading the letter…still, Obi-Wan was impressed. He had never believed his oh so dignified Master could have a poetic streak in him - or a romantic one for that matter. This was…interesting. The young man wet his lips thoughtfully as he replayed the images in his own mind…that sure was a dream worth having…he grinned, returning his attention to the bold handwriting before him.  
  
  
**On waking up right in the middle of this dream I was angry. I used a calming technique, even meditated for a while and then I had the cause in my hands, open in my mind - I was jealous.   
  
Not of anyone in particular, no, only of those who can spend time with their loved ones whenever they chose. Those that can simply be and don't have to consider public opinion or the good of others at all times. It has passed. But it simply being there was…disturbing.   
  
I miss you so much, my love. There is no way I can describe it. I miss your laugh, the smirk that's only visible in your eyes, your voice, the way you breathe my name in my ear when we're very close…I wish there was something more I could send you, not just these…bleak, bare…words. My dream was so vivid, so full of life, like you, my love.   
  
I was with you and I was complete. The people here say that roses are a token of love. I have never seen flowers like this - they are very interesting. You know, beautiful, some red, others yellow - though I like a sort that has petals of so dark a red that they look as if they were black. I've included a bud in this letter…but be careful…there are thorns on the stem…beautiful and stubbornly prickly…like you, my love, when you're in one of your "moods"…**  
  
  
Sith, that man knew him too well for his own good. Obi-Wan took out the small flower. He felt the silky petals, soft like his lover's hair to his touch. He held the rose against his heart for a moment, and then tugged it inside his tunic, closest to his skin. The cool, endlessly gentle brush of the plant reminded him of Qui-Gon, his hands on his body, his lips caressing every inch…   
  
It would not take very much longer. He had to think of his lover coming home. It could not be much longer. Only another week, two at most. He just had to keep going until then.  
  
  
**I'm cold at night love. Not because the weather's bad or I haven't got a warm blanket. It's quite hot in fact, but I miss having you close. It's not even your body heat I crave most, it's your mind, and your love I need to have by my side.   
  
Useless to say that I' always thinking of you, it's just not the same as your being here. There I go, telling you how hard it is for me, when you're most likely reduced to a heap of misery by the work the council has found for you…the children? Or have they decided you'd be better off helping out at some institution? Sifting through files this time, love?   
  
No…wait…I heard Yoda talk about the library needing to be cleaned - they didn't put you to the task, did they? That makes my own work seem less difficult…**  
  
  
Obi-Wan smiled involuntarily. So like his Qui-Gon not to forget about him. He understood his lover so well. He missed him so much. And he wanted to hold him, know he was close by, could be with him any moment, kissing him, loving him… He shook his head. No good dwelling on what he couldn't have for some time yet. Better finish reading the letter, and then get back to work…  
  
  
**I'm looking out at the sunset as I write this. It reminds me of my dream. Though the planet I'm on is not very hospitable they have lovely sunsets… I wish I could describe to you what I see…the colours, the glow in the sky as the sun blazes a blood-red and the sky changes from blue to golden orange, hues of red underlined with yellow and just a touch of violet.   
  
The sky's darkening at this moment, the red becomes almost as black as the rose I sent you…and the sun sets as if it were going to sleep. That's what I should be doing myself, love, so I wish you all the best, my thoughts are with you and I'll keep the last night we were together fresh in my mind, till you give me some more moments I can cherish…take care  
  
Qui-Gon**  
  
  
Obi-Wan smiled. No "may the force be with you". The Master had been put aside again - this was the lover who was writing the letter. And he could not say that he did not like it. This was one of the reasons he loved his Qui-Gon for - he knew when to put aside his role as a teacher and act on the moment, on his emotions.   
  
As the young man thought of acting, his glance fell on the library, the huge shelves and the millions of books on the floor. It had taken him days - and the Force - to get all of them out of the shelves…now he had to catalogue them and put them back - all in order.  
  
For a moment he wondered if the mission his lover was on might not be one that would last for a few months. Not at any rate uncommon he did not like the idea of not seeing Qui-Gon for such a long time… A soft shuffling made him look up. Yoda stood on the threshold.   
  
"Know when he will come back, I do not. The council knows not. Complicated, the mission is. Much to do there remains. Hurry back, he will."   
  
Obi-Wan smiled despite the loneliness these words flung over him.   
  
"How do you always know what I'm thinking, Master Yoda?"  
  
"Think like Qui-Gon, you do. In many matters, him I see in you and you in him. Alike you are. Souls exchanged you have, not only hearts. Belong to each other you do. True love this is. Enough time you will never have, if Jedi you remain."  
  
Obi-Wan nodded. This was one of the things he and Qui-Gon had never talked about. But, judging from the letter he held in his hand, they had similar ideas on the topic. Though neither of them would, could ever trade their life as Jedi for a "normal, safe" one they could share - however much they loved each other.  
  
"We'll have to find time. But we've already made our choice. We've got a path to follow - we'll be Jedi first, then lovers and in the end…"   
  
"One with the Force you will be. United for eternity, you will be." Obi-Wan nodded, a smile on his lips. "Need help, you do?"   
  
"No, thank you, Master Yoda. I'll be just fine…now."   
  
The little Jedi Master chuckled. "Some poetry of my own there is. Hear it, you want?"   
  
The young man grinned. "That would be great!"   
  
"Never tell the council, you must! Undignified, I am now. First poem of mine, this is. Force, called it is. Wake up, I do, the Force in my eyes, it is…"   
  
Obi-Wan chuckled as he began cataloguing and arranging the books, listening to Master Yoda rambling on about the Force being in his eyes at every possible moment of the day. He was only glad, the Jedi Master did not believe himself to be a great poet - it was hard enough to keep a straight face as it was…wait till he told Qui-Gon about this…  
  


  
The End  
  


  
Sunsets (Rainhard Fendrich)  
  
I'd like to go with you where the sun lives, so it'll burn our cold away.  
There, where the sky's like heavy sand, I want that to happen what I might   
miss.   
  
I count the water drops on your skin; you pour me a laugh in return -  
We could jump into life together and finally, for once be perfectly natural.  
I want to knock out loneliness, so that feels for once how much it can hurt -  
And trivialities, trivialities are what I'd like to talk about - you listen to me   
as if they were important.  
  
I want to dance with you on white beaches and listen to   
the blood pulsating in you. And I want to plant nothing but little black roses - one for each day that you're cold.  
  
I want to give sunsets to you, so red your eyes will overflow and then I   
want to drown with you in a night where you feel everything and understand   
nothing.

Sonnenuntergänge (Rainhard Fendrich)  
  
I möcht' mit dia dorthin wo'd sun daham is, damits uns unsa kältn aussabrennt.  
Dort, wo der himmel wia schwarer sand is, soll ma passiern was i versamen   
könnt.   
  
I zähl auf deiner haut die wassertropfen, du schenkst ma dann dafüa a   
lachn ein - mia könntn mitanand ins leben hupfn und endlich amoa selbst-  
verständlich sein. Der einsamkeit möcht i in die goschn tretn, daß endlich   
amoa spürt was wehtuan kann - und nebensächlichkeiten, nebensächlichkeiten   
möcht i redn - du hörst ma zua, als ob sie wichtig warn.  
  
I möcht mit dia auf weißen Stränden tanzen und horchn,   
wia des blut in dir pulsiert. Und lauter klane schwarze rosen möcht i pflanzen -   
ane, füa jeden tag an dem di gfriert.  
  
I möcht da sonnenuntergänge schenken, so rot, daß da die augen übergehn   
und dann mit dia in ana nacht versinken, in der ma alles gspürt und   
nix versteht.

The song "Sonnenuntergänge" ("Sunsets") can be found on the album "Lieder mit Gefühl" by the Austrian singer Rainhard Fendrich (copyright 1994 BMG Ariola Media GmbH) - the transcript and translation was made by me (so all the mistakes therein are my fault ;-)) No copyright infringement is intended.


	3. Cause Your Heart's As Profound as a Mine

Disclaimer: George owns Star Wars and all things pertaining to it, I own the story itself (little as there is to own ;D.)

SLASH. Don't like it, don't read.

** Indicates a letter

**CAUSE YOUR HEART'S AS PROFOUND AS A MINE  
LOVE LETTERS part III**  
© Triskell, 1999

  
Obi-Wan was sitting alone in the quarters he shared with his Master. He was in a rare temper, his mood taking on dimensions almost close to anger. Master Windu had informed him most courteously this morning that it would be at least another two weeks before he could expect Qui-Gon back.   
  
As if he had not been separated from his lover long enough already. He wished Master Yoda had told him. The little creature seemed to understand him, had been so supportive in the past weeks, cheering him up, obviously enjoying the fact that his former student was in love with Obi-Wan and sharing in the heartache the young man had felt each time he had received a letter - and nothing more.  
  
The door chime interrupted his brooding on what he could would to the Council if he only got the chance. Master Yoda. That meant there was bad news.   
  
"Fine, he is. A letter I have for you. Enjoy it, you will. I hope. Worry not, you must. Back soon, he will be." The ancient Jedi patted Obi-Wan's hand encouragingly, laying the crumpled envelope on the sofa beside him.   
  
The young Padawan nodded, reading the address **Padawan Kenobi. Suite 4456. Jedi Temple. Coruscant, 78976** - it was better than not to hear from Qui-Gon at all. But he was sure going to be glad to have his lover home, in his arms and his bed again.  
br He missed his Master, and he was worried. Master Yoda knew, he felt the anguish in him, the uncertainty about his lover's fate that gnawed on him. He managed a wan smile, but the other Jedi had already left the room. Obi-Wan softly ran his hand across the paper at his side. Qui-Gon had touched it not so long ago…   
  
He sighed as he opened the envelope and took out the sheets filled with the beautiful handwriting that reminded him so much of every movement his beloved made - strong, bold and powerful.  
  
  
**Dear love,   
  
I hope this will be the last time I have to write, and that next time I feel I have to talk to you I can just stand in front of you, look into your eyes and see you smile when I tease you…it's cold tonight. It's the weather this time…and I wish you could be here.   
  
Negotiations are dire and I have to be alert every second of the day…and the night. I can't remember having slept more than two hours together lately…and when I get home…I hope I won't have to…**  
  
  
Obi-Wan knew exactly what mischievous thoughts had been going through his Master's mind as he wrote the last sentence and how warm a smile had lit up his features, smoothed out the frown on his brow. He grinned broadly, then read on…  
  
  
**Have I told you lately how special you are to me? I might have mentioned it in my last letters…I can't be sure…I forget what I write, it's so important and yet I have no time to…remember it…maybe you could ask Yoda if I couldn't have a little holiday when I get back.  
  
Just so we can spend some time together. I'm sure it's possible and he would understand. I've been working hard and so have you. He might really give us the chance to get away…it would be lovely to simply sit and talk once again…I have no more time for this letter, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and will be home as soon as I can…with you, where I belong, love.  
  
Qui-Gon. **  
  
  
Another declaration of love. As if the last two letters had not sufficed to lift Obi-Wan onto a cloud in seventh heaven…knowing he was so deeply loved by his Master was wonderful enough, but to have proof of it in writing, in such tender letters, directed more to his heart and soul than his person…the young man smiled involuntarily. He would make his lover proud.   
  
And that meant a little meditation on his anger at the world in general and the Council in particular for keeping them apart this evening and then a long day full of cleaning up the old library tomorrow. He still was not done. Though he supposed being alone and having time to himself was better right now - he would not have liked being locked up with a group of screaming children for most of the day.   
  
It was not that he did not like children. They were quite ok as long as he was in a good mood and/or prepared to accept his nerves being trampled upon and his patience tried to breaking point. And as long as he had a loving Master to come back to in the evening, someone who would massage the pressure out of his shoulders and…the door chime sounded again.  
  
Obi-Wan opened and found himself face-to-face…knee to face to be exact…with Master Yoda. "Sorry to disturb you, I am. News I have for you. Best to tell you myself, I thought."   
  
The young man's face creased in worry. This was not good at all. His master was…what? Hurt? He would have felt that…or would he not?   
  
"Come back, Qui-Gon will not. Sent on another mission, he was. My idea this was not. Approve of it I cannot. Listen to me, no one will."   
  
"Can I go to him?"   
  
Yoda shook his head. "Not possible this is. Patient, you must be. Call him back I will. As soon as possible." Obi-Wan bowed low, touched by the Jedi Master's concern for his and his lover's feelings. "Send transmissions, Qui-Gon must not. Write to you, he must not. Sorry I am about this."   
  
The Padawan nodded his understanding. So that was why Yoda was so indignant. He did not like this new mission. "Master Qui-Gon has asked me to request a holiday from you, Master Yoda." Politely, respectfully - the way a council member had to be - ought to be addressed.  
  
"We would both appreciate a little time for each other." A personal note, said in a low voice, softly, directed at the friend Obi-Wan knew he and his lover had in the little creature that stood before him, tapping the floor with his stick.   
  
"Acceptable this is. Tell the council I will. A holiday you will have. This time, contradict me they will not."   
  
The young man grinned as he heard the imminent reproof the other council members were going to receive in the stubborn tone and the hard tap of the stick on the floor.  
  
"Thank you, Master Yoda."   
  
"Thank me, you need not. Understand you I do. Old I may be, forgotten about love I have not." He chuckled. "Leave you alone now, I will. Come if you need me, I will."   
  
Obi-Wan would have liked to hug the Jedi Master, tell him how much his consideration and respect for them meant to him. But he thought it would be slightly improper and he was not exactly sure if the little creature would welcome such an action…   
  
"Thank you." was all he said. At the dismissive wave of Yoda's hand he smiled.   
  
***  
  
Three days had passed. Three long days and even longer nights. Obi-Wan was working hard at the library, controlling his temper - if he had not been a Jedi, he would have been seething with anger. He felt the danger his lover was in. And there was nothing he could do. Only last night he had been able to sleep for a few hours without the threat to Qui-Gon's life rushing through him and keeping him awake.  
  
The young man was so lost in his thoughts he did not notice the little shadow in the doorway. When Yoda cleared his throat audibly to attract his attention, he almost jumped. "Oh, I…I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."   
  
"Delivery to your quarters, there has been. Needed there you are now. Take this with you, you must. Read it tomorrow morning you will." Obi-Wan took the crumpled brown paper, wondering for a moment how the ancient Jedi managed to always crumple every message he carried in his pocket.  
  
He bowed, excusing himself and strode towards his quarters. He could not remember having ordered anything, and he was sure neither had his Master. He shook his head - well, at least it would be something to keep him occupied for the rest of the day… He keyed in the access code and stepped into the living room, stopping short at the sight of a rumpled brown cloak on the floor.   
  
"Qui-Gon?" His voice betrayed the hope that flooded his heart…could it really be? "Qui-Gon!" He grinned foolishly as he flung himself in the open arms of the man standing on the threshold.  
  
"Careful, love. You're heavier than you think." Teasing him, as usual. Obi-Wan did not care in the least. He had his lover back, warm arms around him, holding him tight and safe.   
  
"You're tired." The other man nodded.  
  
"I just took a shower. Yoda said he'd fetch you." A slow grin spread over Obi-Wan's face.   
  
"All he told me was that there had been a delivery to our quarters - if I had known he was referring to you, I'd have…" He was cut off in mid-sentence by a soft kiss. When he finally managed to disentangle himself, he shoved his Master back towards the bedroom.   
  
"You'll sleep now. We can talk tomorrow morning and…we'll see what else we can do." A mischievous glint in his green-blue eyes betrayed his other intents…  
  
His lover grinned. "As you wish, my Padawan."  
  
***  
  
Obi-Wan woke with a start, as someone tickled his side. He squirmed, and then laughed as he opened his eyes to find his Master's deep blue gaze on him. "I was afraid you were only a dream."   
  
"I'm sure I can rectify this mistake, love…" The young man grinned…then he reached towards the nightstand, taking the crumpled brown paper.   
  
"Before I forget, Master Yoda told me to read this in the morning."   
  
  
**Slept well, you have I hope. Three weeks off duty you both are. Enjoy it, you must. Not want to see you on Coruscant, I do. Transport to Imm'tscha I have booked. Leave at noon, it does. Late, you should not be. Yoda**  
  
  
The two Jedi chuckled. "I didn't know he wrote the way he talked…"   
  
"Yoda's full of surprises love. I believe we should pack. Though we won't need much - Imm'tscha is, as far as I know just a heap of sand and sea in the middle of the galaxy."   
  
"I wish I knew when you got this…expressive…in your language."   
  
"You don't find this poetic? Only expressive? I will have to work on it then…"  
  
After boarding the transport to the remote little planet of Imm'tscha, the Jedi Master disappeared in their suite at once, leaving his Padawan to arrange all the details. When Obi-Wan came back, he smiled. "So, what have you planned for the duration of this trip, love."   
  
"Many things, Master. But first of all I'd like to ask you something." An encouraging nod motioned for him to proceed. "All those things you wrote to me…you meant them?"  
  
"Certainly, love. Every word." Obi-Wan's brilliant smile lightened up his features. He looked at his lover for a long moment, and then sat down opposite him on the floor, cross-legged, gazing into the other man's eyes.   
  
"I have a few things to tell you as well, Qui-Gon. I wanted to do that on our anniversary, but I never got the chance." His Master smiled, nodding.  
  
"I…you know I love you. And I thought of you every moment you were away. But what touched me most, and made me most happy was that you wrote to me. It was so…special to have you write down what you felt. To see it in front of my eyes, be able to re-read it as often as I chose…and know it was meant only for me…"   
  
His smile deepened, a twinkle came stole itself into his eyes.  
  
"And I was proud to know that you feel you can trust me enough to let go while you're with me. That you would cry on my shoulder, if you needed someone to comfort you. That you…enjoyed all the crazy things you said I made you do…but let me tell you - it wasn't always my idea to behave silly and undignified …if you remember, Qui-Gon, you were the one who insisted we wear the locals' costumes that time we were on Alandira…and though I must say you looked absolutely lavishly in those red leggings…if the council had seen you…"   
  
"Oh, I remember it, love. But you must admit that the really bad ideas usually come from you…"   
  
"Sure. As you say, Master…have I ever told you that I'm crazy about your smile? Qui-Gon! You're not blushing, are you?"   
  
"It seems that this particular compliment was one that I hadn't expected…"   
  
"You're all I could ever want, Qui-Gon. You know that I was reluctant to…begin a relationship with you at first?"   
  
"You were? I had no idea, I hope I didn't…"   
  
"No, it wasn't any persuasion on your part. It was more like that I was afraid of losing you - I mean I loved you, I was willing to give myself up to you utterly and completely…"  
  
"And yet - if you hadn't given me time, Qui-Gon, I believe we wouldn't be together now. You let me decide. Told me what you felt and…you didn't act upon it. You waited for me. Did you know that that was exactly what I wanted?"   
  
"No, love. But I'm glad I didn't hurry you… Not having you by my side would have…made a great difference in my life…and not for the better I might add…"   
  
Obi-Wan smiled. "I love you."   
  
"And I you. Come here, love."   
  
The young man chuckled as he dived into the offered embrace, his lips seeking those of his lover. This was exactly what he had been dreaming about the last weeks…  
  
"Happy they are. Feel it I can." A soft chuckle made his way to the surface as the ancient Jedi Master stood at the huge window of the library, looking at the late afternoon sun casting shadows across the Coruscant skyline and talked to no one in particular. "Wish they had more time, I do…"  
  
  
The End  
  
   
Cause Your Heart's as Profound as a Mine (Rainhard Fendrich)  
  
I want you, cause you're proud when you cry, cause you lean on me  
all the same; I want you, cause I feel warm when you laugh and make  
summer out of autumn; I'm in love with you, cause a little happiness isn't   
nearly enough for you, cause you stay with me when the best friend leaves,  
cause your heart's as profound as a mine, cause you're so special to me.  
  
I need you, cause I can grow old with you, cause we'll always be kids  
I need you, cause you sense the burning inside of me and never seek to   
own me; I'm in love with you, cause you can't remember the reason why  
you're with me, cause you're simply mad about me, cause I'm only home  
when I'm with you, cause you're so special to me.  
  
I'm in love with you, cause a little happiness isn't nearly enough for you,  
cause you stay with me when the best friend leaves, cause your heart's  
as profound as a mine, cause you're so special to me. I'm in love with you  
cause your heart's as profound as a mine, cause you're so special to me.  
  


Weus'd a Herz hast wia Bergwerk (Rainhard Fendrich)  
  
Weu du stolz bist, wenn du wanst, weilst di trotzdem zuwilahnst, wüll i di  
Weu ma warm wird, wenn du lachst, und an herbst zum summa mochst,  
wüll i di; weu a bissl glück für di no lang net reicht, weus'd bei mir bleibst,  
wenn der beste freund si schleicht, weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd  
a wahnsinn bist füa mi, steh i auf di.  
  
Weu i mit dir old wern kann, weu ma ewig kinda san, brauch i di  
Weus'd des brennen in mir fühlst, und mi nie besitzen wühlst, brauch i di  
Weus'd den grund warumst bei mir bist nimma wast, weus'd an mir afach  
an narren gfressen hast, weu i nur bei dir daham bin, weus'd a wahnsinn bist  
füa mi, steh i auf di.  
  
Weu a bissl glück für di no lang net reicht, weus'd bei mir bleibst, wenn der  
beste freund si schleicht, weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd a wahnsinn  
bist füa mi, steh i auf di; weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd a wahnsinn  
bist füa mi, steh i auf di

The song "Weus'd a Herz hast wia Bergwerk" ("Cause Your Heart's as Profound as a Mine") can be found on the album "Lieder mit Gefühl" by the Austrian singer Rainhard Fendrich (copyright 1994 BMG Ariola Media GmbH), I'm personally responsible (;-)) for the transcript and translation. - No copyright infringement is intended. 


End file.
